alayane: (Default)
f you are reading this, leave one memory of you and I together! It doesn't matter if I know you a little or a lot, anything you remember! Next, post this in your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you.
alayane: (Default)
Well, I don't do this very often but what the hell. i must say, I had an enjoyable weekend. I went to NH on Friday with my GF (i love her so) and met up with my old emergance crew. We went to a place called Grand Buffet. I had fun there. The townies kinda pissed me off but the hell. oh well. Saturday Me and my gf went to DI, hmmm, what to say. I was kinda bored there. The music was good, but the company besides Rob and Anna was rather drool. I'de go agian just to hang with Rob and Anna. Sunday was kinda tight on time but I went with Nikki to her aunts house to celebrate her Mom's and her niece Emmalee's Birthday. After that I had to drive straight back to Ct to try and make it to a little get together with some of the higer ups that I work for, which I missed, but what ever. Can't be perfect. I miss you Karen ::hug:: okies, uhmmm, other than that i just sit around most of the week twidling my thumbs hoping for the weekend to come sooner so i can see nikki and my friends from NH and Mass. Love ya all

alayane: (Default)

Your Brain is 86.67% Female, 13.33% Male

You have the brain of a girly girl

Which isn't a bad thing at all

You're emphatetic, caring, and in tune with emotions.

You're a good friend and give great advice.

You know. I shouldn't be suprised by that answer ^ ^;
Oh well. I get to go to AB on time. My instructer let me have friday off. Yeah. Hes a pretty cool guy considering the whole military thing. we had a test last week. I got an 82 which is ok. In the class standings i'm 4th. A lot of people bomed the test. blah. I've got a new costume for AB. Its Tifa from FF7: Advent Children. Its so freakin hot. I hope it looks good on me. I guess i'll find out tommorrow. Thats all for know
alayane: (Default)
Copied from Zenboiuke

Pick ONE from each pair that you think describes me the best & leave it in the comments. Then copy this and post it in your own journal to see how your friends view you.

* dominant or submissive
* logical or intuitive
* social or loner
* kinky or vanilla
* cute or sophisticated
* kitten or puppy
* warm flannel sheets or sleek satin
* leader or follower
* quiet or talkative
* spontaneous or planned
* teddy bear or porcelain doll
* hiking or window shopping
* tequila or vodka
* top or bottom
* bare foot or shoes
* jeans or slacks
* tender or rough
* aware or dreamy
* nerd or geek


Jan. 16th, 2004 04:01 am
alayane: (Default)
Its been a while since i've posted. A lots happened. Kier and I broke up. That was a shock. That was Jan 1, I don't mean to be cynical but what a new years gift. It was the longest most involving realationship i've ever been in. It took a lot not to throw in the towel at times but in all, it meant a lot to me. I learned a lot from that man. I still have a lot of feelings fro him, but thats not going to get me anywhere. Its hard letting go. I haven't let go. Mabey thats what my problem is. But then agian its only been a few weeks. Maybe i'm just afraid of being alone agian. Thats a common fear. its a common reason for people to prolong a stagnant relationship. I nee to stop looking in to the past and wishing I had what I don't anymore. If he's taught me one thing its to look forward to whats coming not feel remorse for what you don't have. ::sigh::
I just feel kinda alone agian. I mean I know my friends are there for me but I fell that they're all a bit byast. Especially the ones I see the most often. Mabey thats just my insercurities rising agian. I don't know what to think or feel anymore. The rugs been pulled from under my feet. Mabey I just need time to come to terms with things. Maey I should stop ranting about how much I feel like crap. Oh well.
alayane: (Default)
You are Orange
What color are you? (Anime Pictures)

brought to you by Quizilla
alayane: (Default)

What's your sexual appeal?
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Bad Me

Aug. 6th, 2003 04:21 am
alayane: (Default)
Sorry all. I haven't posted in a few. SO here it is. A new post. As of two days ago, Blackjet and myself finally sat down and chated. We talked somethings out and decieded that we needed to spend some quality time together and learn more about each other. We had passed our knowledge on the past and hadn't taken into account that we've both changed. I think we're doing beter and I have the highest of hopes that it gets even better.

Also Zenboiuke and myself had a nice long chat. He'de bee having problems with security and a few other things. We had had a simmilar chat before but this was different. It seemed to make him actually feel better. Thats what I had been hoping for. I don't like it when he's sad cause it makes me sad.

I leave for Otakon tommorrow after work. Koh-ee-nu and myself are taking Majik and Greg. I just found out Greg even needed a ride. I had assumed he wasn't going, but the more the merrier. Yaaaa for Otakon ::does a jig::

Thats all for now. Night all

P.S. I hope you feel good when I get there Zenboiuke cause I might wanna do "stuff"
alayane: (Default)

I had sushi today. It was yummie. Neo, Kaaji, D, Jay, and myself went to a place called Ling's Cafe in nashue to eat. Its a plcae that serves chinese aswell as Japanese. We ended up getting a 38 piece shushi dinner. We all ate like pigs. It was so good. The bill after easting came to something like 87 dollars or so (Thanks agian for the food Neo). It was good to see Jay agian. I hadn't seen him for more than an hour or so in a while. After eating we went to Shadow's agian.

At Shoadow's We walked around for a little while then deceided to go to a playground for a little while. We hung out on the swings for a little while befoer the rest of the group deceided to go to the graveyard AGIAN. Shaodw knowing I don't like the graveyard deceided we should split into groups. One group would stay with me while the other went in. When the first was done the came back and the other group went. I felt like I was being babysat. Oh well. At least the respected my wishes and din't pester me to go in. ^ ^ We left his place around 12:30ish to go to Neo's place. We hung there and played games for a while. It was fun. I'm getting sleepy so. This is it

Night all
alayane: (Default)
I slept over Shadow's house last night. That was... most interesting. I went straight from work to his place. When there we hung out played some stepmania (which is a ddr simulater).I eneded staying up till like 9 Oclock. I slept until 2ish when the woke me up and said we're going to a graveyard. I was like no. But shadow insisted. I told him I didn't like graveyards because I don't like the feeling of death and the energy's people leave when they pass on. He said I had to go. He need my help beacuse something didn't feel right at the graveyard. I told whatever, i'll go but don't expect me to feel for anything. He said ok. SO we walked a few block to the cemetary. AS we approched I started to feel kinda sick to my stomach (I told you I didn't like cemetarys). We entered and I just said to myself I don't wanna be here. So I ended putting my shields up (They woke me up for this). All we really did was walk around and look at headstones. I tried not to feel anything so I ended up not helping at all. Oh well. I don't like dead things anyways. Then I went to anime club and Funworld to game for a little (not that I had money to game ^ ^;).

Thats all for know. Nighty night all
alayane: (Default)
Sorry I messed yesterdays post, but as it is there really wasn't anything interesting going on until i got back from work. When I got back from work Neo, koh-ee-nu, and myself went to Denny's. Whilst there koh-ee-nu decided to tell me a little bit more about the reason he was moving. He told me he felt that I had him on a leash. That I controlled him. He felt that I never accepted his ideas and always shut them out. I personally don't feel I do that to him but still. That kinda hurt but I was alright with it. Another reason he feels the need to move is to get away from some of the poeple here, people being family. I'm going to miss him a lot when he leaves.

As for todays info. I slept, I watched some anime and slept at the same time. I went to work. Koh-ee-nu quit work. Other than that nothing really. I called [ profile] zenboiuke (I original reffered to him as kit_quat but he asked me to use his LJ username). We chated about nothing inparticular, but it was good to here his voice. It makes me smile.

Thats all for now. Nighty night
alayane: (Default)
Ragetti's Dress Fetish
You are....

Ragetti's dress fetish. Okay, so you like dressing
up. Frilly things are fun! There's no shame in
being who you are, and you DO look rather
fetching in that strawberry number. Oh yes, and
you encourage your friends to come along.
After all, no one likes to look ODD, do they?

Which Pirates of the Caribbean Character's Unhealthy Fetish are YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla
alayane: (Default)
I went to Shadow's house agian today. This time though I thought it was going to be just Neo, Shadow, and myself. I was wrong. Unbeknownst to me Blue and Binx were there. I had never met them before but they were pretty cool. Blue was cute too. Thinking it was just the three of us. I had decieded to show Shadow Paige. He'd seen me when I wasn't and had sounded interested to meet her/the real me. He likes her I think. I'll have to find out later. ::blushes:: He confuses me sooo much. Oh well. Whilst there the five of us were outside having a smoke and just shooting the shit when Neo and Blue decided to horse around. Blue fell and hit her head on the ground. She was alright so that was a relief. Other than that nothing really notable happened. We ended the night trying to figure out little riddles involvong history for a little till Neo and I left to come back to my place.

All we've been doing here is hangout watching Kenshin and drinking Mountain Dew. Nothing else really notable.

Well thats all for now Nighty night

p.s. Neo walked in on his brother ,Lampir, and his brothers girlfriend ,Vetala, having sex. Whats this world coming to when brothers can't expect privacy in their own room (Which they share no less)
alayane: (Default)
Today, was interesting.
We went to Shadow's house. We being Neo, kaaji, D, and myself. It started off like just hanging out. But then Shadow asked me something out of the blue. He asked if i'de be his flirt buddy. He said he was asking me because he knows i'm a guy but he also knows inside i'm Paige. This made me feel a little wierd at first, but I wamed up to the idea. As long as its just innocent flirting it shouldn't be a problem. So we flirted. That's as far as it went. It still was kinda weird he asked me to do that though. ehh. I guess i'll enjoy it. I hope Kit_Quat doesn't mind.

Some of the activeites at Shadow;s house included Tribal dancing around candles to DDR music (My friends are such Geeks... Wait, so am I). An example of the music would be the Speed Racer Porno Mix and other random music from DDR that we've downloaded from the internet. Another would be trying to get D off with hot wax. Neo, Kaaji, and NoseBleed would heat up some wax from a cadle and then pour it on D's hand and forearm. He was getting a bit uhhh... Primal so to speak. I think he's masochist. On a final note. Neo and Kaaji were getting a bit... Intamit so to speak on Shadow's bed. At least they're wern't any fluids to clean up ^ ^;

Oh. My bad. I never introduced Kit_Quat. He's my significant other. He lives about five hours away so I don't get to see him as often as he or I would like. Mostly due to finances. I should call him more often then I do seeing as I can call him at his work since its an 800 number. I feel kinda bad about that. He doesn't need constant attention but he would like at least a HI or something at least every other day. I'll have to get better about that.

And that ends aother episode in Paige's life

Ja ne
alayane: (Default)

Another day at hell(UPS). ::sigh:: Oh well. Hopefully soon i'll be moving up to purgatory(Macy's). At least i'm moving up in the world. If I get the job there I'll be a lot more financially secure. I'll be able to pay for my car, cell, rent, transition plus many more things the require money. God Damn the world for being so damn materialistic. I can't say I like to conform, but some things must be had. Oh well. What to do? Maybe some day things will be alright, maybe be happy with who I am. That may be wishful thinking or it may mean I may have to use what little patience I have. I don't mean to sound all depressive and stuff but i've been thinking to much. Damn my brain. I hope in a few years my life will actually be stable. I won't have to live from pay check to pay check. I'll be happy with the way I look and my gender. I'll be with close friends. I'll live on my own. ::sigh:: At least working in purgatory i'll be able to buy things again. Thats enough of my ranting this morning. Nighty night all

Ja ne
alayane: (Default)
blah blah blah

Thats all I hear now. Almost every one I know can't say anything smart. Its all got something to do with money. Yes, I know that without money the world doesn't turn but still. I wish the world was based on such a confining ideal. I wish society could exist like water. Instead of money we should go back to the barter system. It would makes things easier by allowing people to get what they want in a reasonable fashion. Actually, no it wouldn't. I have no evidence to back it. Oh well.

Thats enough of my ranting ^ ^;

On a good note, yesterday I made a new friend. His names Shadow. The story goes like this. My friends Neo, Kaaji, D, and myself went to the mall to hang out. While we were there we meet up with some of neo's friends that he hadn't seen in a while. Amongst them was Shadow. He's an interesting fellow. I say this bevause he is an enigma in my mind. He's kinda like, well... a void. To get to his personality, you need ot get past his emptiness. He confuses me. Besides that he's a pretty good guy. He knows my situation and accepts me for it. Thats makes me feel good.

Well. Thats it for now Nighty night all ^ ^


Jul. 25th, 2003 06:32 am
alayane: (Default)
Hi everyone. To any one who ends up reading this then have fun or don't, your choice. This is my first LJ every and my first post of course. Currently I work a shit job at UPS from 11:20 pm till sometime after 3:30am. Other than that my life is pretty decent. They only thing that keeps it interesting is the fact that I'm transgendered. I'm not really in the mood to explain that so look it up if you don't know. Thats it for my first entry so I'm going to dream land now. Night night all
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