Jan. 16th, 2004

Wow

Jan. 16th, 2004 04:01 am
alayane: (Default)
Its been a while since i've posted. A lots happened. Kier and I broke up. That was a shock. That was Jan 1, I don't mean to be cynical but what a new years gift. It was the longest most involving realationship i've ever been in. It took a lot not to throw in the towel at times but in all, it meant a lot to me. I learned a lot from that man. I still have a lot of feelings fro him, but thats not going to get me anywhere. Its hard letting go. I haven't let go. Mabey thats what my problem is. But then agian its only been a few weeks. Maybe i'm just afraid of being alone agian. Thats a common fear. its a common reason for people to prolong a stagnant relationship. I nee to stop looking in to the past and wishing I had what I don't anymore. If he's taught me one thing its to look forward to whats coming not feel remorse for what you don't have. ::sigh::
I just feel kinda alone agian. I mean I know my friends are there for me but I fell that they're all a bit byast. Especially the ones I see the most often. Mabey thats just my insercurities rising agian. I don't know what to think or feel anymore. The rugs been pulled from under my feet. Mabey I just need time to come to terms with things. Maey I should stop ranting about how much I feel like crap. Oh well.

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alayane: (Default)
Jamie

October 2005

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